Ok, picture this. It'll only take a moment. You might even only half-heartedly tell me it wasn't worth your time once you see the overwhelming effort:
You, an anciently old person, have spent your entire life studying archaeology and you think you have pieced together enough clues to find a magic lamp. The lamp is the opportunity for you to get redemption because life had a cruel plan for you (you had to make do with a small of $10,000,000 for this excavation). So there you are in the desert with sandstorms whirling around you and an empty water canister. This is some pretty grueling imagery. I'm not sure if you're going to make it. But! Suddenly, when your hope has almost completely evaporated, you spot an oasis in the desert. You go to drink some of the water when you suddenly see something gleaming in the bottom. Excitedly, you dive in and it's the lamp! You rub it and out comes a genie. Finally ready to change your life for the better, you make this wish:
"I wish I was a king."
You wait. But nothing happens. You have just found a genie who is a grammar stickler. Just your luck, but this post will make sure of one thing: you, the reader, will be able to become king should this circumstance ever present itself, since the genie will most certainly be impressed by your grammar! Even if this doesn't happen, you'll come away with cool grammar knowledge, which is almost as cool as being king anyway.
There are actually two songs this week that abuse the subjunctive tense, which is the focus this time. The first is a song by Gwen Stefani called "Rich Girl." This song was released in 2004 and is actually based off "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. This second piece of information will be important momentarily.
The second song is "Me Too" by Meghan Trainor. This song was released in 2016, meaning that this grammar problem has persisted for at least a decade! This is unacceptable and must be remedied lest the future generations forget the incredible importance of the subjunctive tense.
Well you may be wondering what exactly the problem is here in the songs. Specifically, what is the subjunctive? It's a tense that is used when someone wants a specific circumstance or imagines a specific circumstance that is not currently true. It is used instead of the indicative tense that we would consider the "normal tense" and is ubiquitous. In "Rich Girl," Stefani sings "If I Was a Rich Girl" and in "Me Too," Trainor sings "If I Was You." Both of these sentences would require the subjunctive tense because we have a wishful situation. When we use the subjunctive tense in this circumstance, the "was" should actually be "were." You just have to know that the subjunctive form of "to be" is "were" in these situations.
What's funny is that the song "Rich Girl" is based off of "If I Were a Rich Man," which has the correct grammar right in the title! I both want to hope that it was deliberate but also hope that choosing incorrect grammar was not deliberate. If the choice had been deliberate, does this mean that over time we are slowly shifting away from the subjunctive tense? I think it might be indicative (ha-grammar pun!) of that, but it is of course hard to prove this. However, the subjunctive tense seems to be dying.
Oh, you thought that was all to the subjunctive. Luckily, there's more! Yay! There is more to the subjunctive than just wishes and if statements. If there is a situation with present or past desires that is connected by "that," then the infinitive form of the following verb without the "to" must be used and is blind to the subject. This explanation make much more sense with an example:
"I recommended that he go to the professor's office hours."
Notice that the verb "go" is used in this sentence. This is the subjunctive tense at work! Isolate the sentence without the introduction of "I recommend that" and you have "he go to the professor's office hours." We know that this sentence would actually have the word "goes" instead of "go," but because we had a desire that was connected by "that" we took the infinitive "to go" and cut out the "to." Take note of the "blind to the subject" that I indicated above. In every subject, it would be the same.
"I recommended that we go..."
"I recommended that you go..."
This is practically all there is to the subjunctive tense. I have to warn you that sometimes it can be difficult to determine if there is a desire at hand and thus if the subjunctive should be employed. But for the most part, a general understanding will suffice.
Here's the practice! Highlight the black box to see the answer:
It is essential that he ________ the medicine. (take, takes, to take)
take-the "essential" and "that" combination is a common trigger for the subjunctive. This was a little tricky since I didn't explicitly identify it as a trigger, but it is a circumstance that expresses a desire of sorts.
If I ________ home, I'd just be sleeping on the couch. (was, were)
were-this is just a simple conditional statement that requires the subjunctive tense. It would be "were" for the verb "to be" in this situation.
I want the papers ________ completed tonight. (be, to be, are)
to be-this requires the indicative tense; although "I want" is a desire, there is no "that" trigger word or a subject.
Now, I recommend that we spread the subjunctive everywhere. Together, we can help someone make a grammatically correct wish with a genie and become king.
You, an anciently old person, have spent your entire life studying archaeology and you think you have pieced together enough clues to find a magic lamp. The lamp is the opportunity for you to get redemption because life had a cruel plan for you (you had to make do with a small of $10,000,000 for this excavation). So there you are in the desert with sandstorms whirling around you and an empty water canister. This is some pretty grueling imagery. I'm not sure if you're going to make it. But! Suddenly, when your hope has almost completely evaporated, you spot an oasis in the desert. You go to drink some of the water when you suddenly see something gleaming in the bottom. Excitedly, you dive in and it's the lamp! You rub it and out comes a genie. Finally ready to change your life for the better, you make this wish:
"I wish I was a king."
You wait. But nothing happens. You have just found a genie who is a grammar stickler. Just your luck, but this post will make sure of one thing: you, the reader, will be able to become king should this circumstance ever present itself, since the genie will most certainly be impressed by your grammar! Even if this doesn't happen, you'll come away with cool grammar knowledge, which is almost as cool as being king anyway.
There are actually two songs this week that abuse the subjunctive tense, which is the focus this time. The first is a song by Gwen Stefani called "Rich Girl." This song was released in 2004 and is actually based off "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. This second piece of information will be important momentarily.
The second song is "Me Too" by Meghan Trainor. This song was released in 2016, meaning that this grammar problem has persisted for at least a decade! This is unacceptable and must be remedied lest the future generations forget the incredible importance of the subjunctive tense.
Well you may be wondering what exactly the problem is here in the songs. Specifically, what is the subjunctive? It's a tense that is used when someone wants a specific circumstance or imagines a specific circumstance that is not currently true. It is used instead of the indicative tense that we would consider the "normal tense" and is ubiquitous. In "Rich Girl," Stefani sings "If I Was a Rich Girl" and in "Me Too," Trainor sings "If I Was You." Both of these sentences would require the subjunctive tense because we have a wishful situation. When we use the subjunctive tense in this circumstance, the "was" should actually be "were." You just have to know that the subjunctive form of "to be" is "were" in these situations.
What's funny is that the song "Rich Girl" is based off of "If I Were a Rich Man," which has the correct grammar right in the title! I both want to hope that it was deliberate but also hope that choosing incorrect grammar was not deliberate. If the choice had been deliberate, does this mean that over time we are slowly shifting away from the subjunctive tense? I think it might be indicative (ha-grammar pun!) of that, but it is of course hard to prove this. However, the subjunctive tense seems to be dying.
Oh, you thought that was all to the subjunctive. Luckily, there's more! Yay! There is more to the subjunctive than just wishes and if statements. If there is a situation with present or past desires that is connected by "that," then the infinitive form of the following verb without the "to" must be used and is blind to the subject. This explanation make much more sense with an example:
"I recommended that he go to the professor's office hours."
Notice that the verb "go" is used in this sentence. This is the subjunctive tense at work! Isolate the sentence without the introduction of "I recommend that" and you have "he go to the professor's office hours." We know that this sentence would actually have the word "goes" instead of "go," but because we had a desire that was connected by "that" we took the infinitive "to go" and cut out the "to." Take note of the "blind to the subject" that I indicated above. In every subject, it would be the same.
"I recommended that we go..."
"I recommended that you go..."
This is practically all there is to the subjunctive tense. I have to warn you that sometimes it can be difficult to determine if there is a desire at hand and thus if the subjunctive should be employed. But for the most part, a general understanding will suffice.
Here's the practice! Highlight the black box to see the answer:
It is essential that he ________ the medicine. (take, takes, to take)
take-the "essential" and "that" combination is a common trigger for the subjunctive. This was a little tricky since I didn't explicitly identify it as a trigger, but it is a circumstance that expresses a desire of sorts.
If I ________ home, I'd just be sleeping on the couch. (was, were)
were-this is just a simple conditional statement that requires the subjunctive tense. It would be "were" for the verb "to be" in this situation.
I want the papers ________ completed tonight. (be, to be, are)
to be-this requires the indicative tense; although "I want" is a desire, there is no "that" trigger word or a subject.
Now, I recommend that we spread the subjunctive everywhere. Together, we can help someone make a grammatically correct wish with a genie and become king.
That story in the beginning is, for lack of words....really something. How you came up with such a story? No clue. However, I can tell you for a fact that that was an ingenious and very humorous start. You also did an amazing job with well articulating your statements within this piece. Keep up the good work.
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