Let's Not Lie but Lay Down the Law on "Lay" and "Lie"

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There are certain things in life that seem pointless in memorizing. For some people, it's historical dates or phone numbers. For me, it's my social security number. I literally have been asked for it dozens of times, and each time I have to admit my ignorance. I have seen so many shocked faces at this point that I've become immune. I like to think of it as the ultimate form of protection against accidentally giving away information to shady people. But returning to what most people don't remember, it's  probably subtle grammar. For instance, will I ever really need to know the difference between alumna, alumni and alumnus (alumna is singular female graduate, alumni is plural form for graduates, and alumnus is singular male graduate). Who remembers this stuff? I do, but probably so that I feel better when people discuss their real accomplishments. This week, we'll discuss the difference between "to lay" and "to lie." If you think this isn't important, you're wrong. I'll expose you, just like these singers.

Miley Cyrus is the first culprit here. This was during her um "experimental phase," so maybe her recent transformation is a box set of tamed character with better grammar! The suspect lyric is from the song "Get it Right" and goes, "I been laying in this bed all night long."

To juxtapose Miley, we'll grab some Bob Dylan to demonstrate that this grammar epidemic is widespread. In his song "Lay Lady Lay," we already see the problem! It's right in the title which makes this an easy mistake to spot. 

When I decided to use this grammar concept, the first song I had in mind was actually "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. It is a pretty well known song for most of us so I thought it would be good to use, but I think I realized the language is actually ambiguous and I cannot definitely say the song is wrong. Let me know what you think! The lyric is "If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me?" It's confusing because they actually switch between "to lie" and "to lay" or they could be using the past tense, so I'm interested to know what your interpretation is.

This chart is extremely useful to refer to when I explain the grammar:

Courtesy of Proof Before Publishing

Let's start with "to lay." This is known as a transitive verb, meaning that it must have a direct object following its use. The direct object is the recipient of the transitive verb. This means whenever you see the word "to lay" being used, there must be an object that follows its use. For instance "I am laying the remote on the table." "The remote" is the direct object here, which followed the transitive verb "to lay" in its present participle form. Put simply, whenever you want to put anything down, you "to lay" and must learn its forms in the various tenses. It can be confusing, but the chart above is an extremely easy way to compare.

"To lie" is both simpler and more complex. It is simpler because it is known as an intransitive verb so it doesn't have a direct object, meaning you'll use this phrase whenever you don't have a direct object following the verb. The best way to remember that you want to use this form is whenever someone wants to take a rest. They say "I'm going to go lie on the bed" or some variation. There is no direct object (on the bed is a prepositional phrase, NOT a direct object since it does not the recipient of the verb). I say it is more complex because "to lie" obviously has another meaning of telling false statements. "To lie" in this context has different forms than "to lie" for resting, but you are definitely familiar enough with the other form to not be confused.

WORD OF WARNING: Notice that the present form of "to lay" is "lay" and the past tense form of "to lie" is also "lay." I assume this is a major part of the reason that these words are so often confused, because I know I sometimes have to think for a moment before speaking. Just keep in mind if you are trying to say something about putting something down (direct object so use "to lay") or moving a body into a horizontal position/resting (no direct object so use "to lie")

Example: 

He lay the books in the return cart in the library. "the books" is something I am putting down, so I use the present form of "to lay," which is "lay."

She lay on the bed for so long in sorrow dust started to decorate her hair. There is nothing I am putting down and the body is horizontal/she is resting, so I know I want to use "to lie." I used "lay" because I want to indicate this is in the past tense, meaning this situation has already happened.


Practice Makes Perfect or some other cliche! Highlight the black boxes to see the answer:

We wanted  ________ on the hammock, but we accidentally tipped it over.
"to lie." This sentence structure calls for the infinitive, so we need to use "to lay" or "to lie," and since there is no direct object, we are going to use "to lie"


Because they are concerned about the budget proposal, they will be ecstatic once they have ________ this issue to rest.
"laid." The use of "have" indicates that we need to have the past participle tense. "this issue" is the direct object immediately following the verb, so we know we need "to lay" as our verb. Looking at our chart, we know the past participle of "to lay" is laid.

Because of her headache the other day, she ________ down on the couch and ________ her head on a pillow.
"lay" and "laid." The entire sentence indicates the past tense because of "the other day," so we know we are looking at that row in our chart. The first space does not have a direct object and we know she is resting, so we need "to lie." The past tense of "to lie" is lay. The second space has the direct object "head," so we know we need "to lay." The past tense of "to lay" is laid. 


The differences between these verbs can be tricky. It is really easy to go through the motions and figure out which is which when you have a chart to check your work, but in real life, without a chart, it can actually be frustrating trying to remember which form goes with which tense. The best advice I can give is try to form a natural understanding of each verb. When you start to hear other people use it incorrectly, you know you're good!

Now, let me know your thoughts about that pesky "Chasing Cars" song... It drives me crazy (this really was no pun intended, I hope you can believe me).