Whom You Gonna Call?

Generated Meme from SuperDeluxe There are certain things in life that seem pointless in memorizing. For some people, it's historical dates or phone numbers. For me, it's my social security number. I literally have been asked for it dozens of times, and each time I have to admit my ignorance. I have seen so many shocked faces at this point that I've become immune. I like to think of it as the ultimate form of protection against accidentally giving away information to shady people. But returning to what most people don't remember, it's  probably subtle grammar. For instance, will I ever really need to know the difference between alumna, alumni and alumnus (alumna is singular female graduate, alumni is plural form for graduates, and alumnus is singular male graduate). Who remembers this stuff? I do, but probably so that I feel better when people discuss their real accomplishments. This week, we'll discuss the difference between "to lay" and "t...

Ok, picture this. It'll only take a moment. You might even only half-heartedly tell me it wasn't worth your time once you see the overwhelming effort: You, an anciently old person, have spent your entire life studying archaeology and you think you have pieced together enough clues to find a magic lamp. The lamp is the opportunity for you to get redemption because life had a cruel plan for you (you had to make do with a small of $10,000,000 for this excavation). So there you are in the desert with sandstorms whirling around you and an empty water canister. This is some pretty grueling imagery. I'm not sure if you're going to make it. But! Suddenly, when your hope has almost completely evaporated, you spot an oasis in the desert. You go to drink some of the water when you suddenly see something gleaming in the bottom. Excitedly, you dive in and it's the lamp! You rub it and out comes a genie. Finally ready to change your life for the better, you make this wish: ...

Ah, grammar. It is the headache of schoolchildren everywhere for its endless exceptions and confusing jargon. Seriously, creating such specific phrases such as "nonrestrictive modifiers" and "predicate nominative" is pretty much asking students to be disinterred in grammar. Plus, people see it as limiting the creative power of writing (I'm looking at you, James Joyce). But we have grammar to create effective communication. But I do admit, some of the grammar rules seem archaic. For example, the following sentence is traditionally incorrect: He began to slowly walk to the store. The problem is technically you can't split the infinitive "to walk" with "slowly," but I'm certainly not going to call you out on it. I want to point out the rules of grammar that I think are still relevant today and important to practice, especially in formal communication. Our first song is the Ghostbuster's Theme Song! The issue in the song comes from ...